Behinder

So much about homeschooling is good, that I pretty much ignore the things that are challenges. And for the most part, that is pretty easily done...until the last couple of years of high school, that is. Now is a time where the benefit of being "in the system" would be really handy. There are so many extraneous things on my To Do list these days, I sometimes wonder just how in the world we will get to school in these last couple of years. There are a plethora of deadlines, and would you believe, I'm just on time, or already behind? BAT is a junior. He is just competing his first semester. If he plans to attend some of the "try it on for a week" events at some of the campuses he is interested in, we are a little tardy to one school, and will just be on time for some others. In December of the year before hand. Wow. That was a shock to me. I'm glad that I thought I was being early and starting looking around now. Imagine if I had begun this process as late as January (gasp). These next few months will be anything but boring. I've already felt overwhelmed, panicked, doomed, and thought that I may have ruined my kids' lives. And that's just this week! Wish me luck, and I'll eke you posted...

If You Want to Become Depressed...

Go to a Christian College Fair. Oh. My. Good. Lord. We are in serious trouble. I was hoping (OK--I'm a realist, so I wasn't really hoping, but I really wanted to be wrong) for, well, light and salt and such. What I found was the world. There was not one representative who mentioned the Word. Not one. They talked about their facilities, PC majors ("We even have gender studies!"), and all the fun activities that students will have at their school. GAT was looking for art history as a major. One school had art as a major, but most had "film studies" and "graphic design." One school highlighted that they have 233 palm trees on campus, and nearly half their student body holds annual passes to Disneyland. Parents can give their beloved progeny all this for only about $35K a year. I'm still hopeful. And we're still looking. UPDATE: Point Loma Nazarene had a representative that was really busy during the fair, so I wasn't able to speak with her. Fortunately, she came to the school where DAT and GAT take a class. She was great. And actually emphasized the Christian environment. No school will be perfect, but I am at least encouraged more this evening than I was!

Lamenting The Way Things Ought To Be

In the past, when I would lament the reality of life, I found it easy to despair. Hopefully due to growth and maturity in the Lord, the sting is now somewhat lessened. People disappoint. Friendships end. People become ill and die, leaving children behind. This world is a tough place. And how much tougher if God had removed His whole self from us? I praise Him that He has left His Spirit with us. And I pray that I will come to know the Spirit better. God has given us a Comforter. We are not alone.

So Many Thoughts...So Little Time

I have been so desiring to blog more frequently this school year, and yet have been remiss in doing so. (What I really want is uninterrupted time to fully form my thoughts, and throw in something funny or witty as well--You'd think by now I'd realize that uninterrupted time really isn't something I can plan on having!) So I've been thinking about quitters and commitment a lot lately. I'm trying to field questions from the kids about what it means to stay committed to something. I'm having a tough time, as we are surrounded by a culture that just doesn't commit. Fortunately, most of our friends are still married, so the kids have had a pretty consistent view of committed marriages. And I don't take that lightly one bit, as a kid of the no-fault divorce generation. But the one place where I should be able to show my kids fully committed people is the church. And sadly, I cannot. Most of our church is military, so people leave every 3 years or sooner. That ironically is usually the group who are the most committed--at least for the time they are here. What is actually very painful, though, are the many folks who leave our church for another one that better suits their needs, or who leave Hawaii altogether for various reasons. I get it--I really do. Life is complicated and there are many factors that come into play in breaking fellowship. But it's just bothering me that I don't have a good answer to the question I was recently asked: "Why are there vows of membership, when no one ever sticks around?" That question has me stumped. Because I realize that I actually don't buy it. The notion of vows of membership, that is. And frankly, it's because it simply isn't true. At the very least it isn't demonstrated. And yes, I realize it could mean the Church at large, but I doubt that's why we are in fellowship in particular communities. The fellowship God has in mind doesn't work if deep and sincere relationships cannot be formed. And we're in a self-obsessed culture that rails against that level of intimacy. So what to do, what to do? I'll have to search Scripture for an answer. I hope it has a better one than I do!

Econ Field Trip Day

Today we headed out to the NELHA site here on the big island. Hopefully, I've got this right: NELHA (Natural Energy Laboratory of Hawaii Authority) under the DLNR (Department of Land and Natural Resources) in Hawaii leases land to private companies seeking space to test and/or utilize proven renewable energy systems. For businesses, the pluses are inexpensive leases and a completed permitting process. (Permitting alone can take 12 years!) Pluses for the state of Hawaii are that the land is utilized in line with the goal of Hawaii achieving energy independence, and NELHA pays for itself. It's also groovy PR for the state and the businesses. Visiting the site was fascinating in that the ideas being tried are all very innovative and creative, but none are really financially feasible. The bottom line is, even at $90 a barrel, oil is still the cheapest source of energy. The solution our presenter at NELHA had for that was for "each and every one of you to contact your senators and representatives and tell them to raise taxes on oil!" Yeah--I'll get right on that... Next stop was Hula Daddy Coffee farm and visitor center. If I ever run away from home, I may go there. It was beautiful, peaceful, rural, and about 10 degrees cooler than Kona. We learned some of the issues in farming coffee and making a living. When told of the title of our seminar ("Environmentalism and Economics") one of the owners said, "That's every decision we make around here." He discussed weighing pros and cons of typical "green" methods for farming, and told us of some of the simpler, cheaper solutions he discovered. For example, the coffee borer beetle has had a devastating effect on many Kona coffee growers. However, Hula Daddy sprays a fungus that kills the beetles, leaves the good bugs alone, and doesn't harm any other plants. Though this method is initially pricier than the usual pesticide, it is effective and eco friendly. But there are times however, when teh economics wins out over the ecology. And where the process to go through certification to become organic "tied [Hula Daddy's] hands," simple long term thinking has netted the same result for the company's coffee consumers. We got to taste coffee that was recently harvested, and had actually been roasted before our very eyes. It was pricey, but I think DAT will appreciate his souvenir. Next: I'll talk Ironman and watching what teachers do when they're off on a trip to Hawaii...

Economics Day 2 (Closeted Homeschooler)

After a jam packed session yesterday, I was ready for rest. It's great info taught by great teachers, so I am really enjoying my time here. I can't wait to digest it all and am so grateful to get to add this to my "bag of goodies" to teach. It is interesting to be here as a closeted homeschooler among mostly public school teachers. (It is also interesting to be here while the Ironman triathlon is happening, with all of those folks staying in the same hotel. But that's for another post!) It's interesting to be in on conversations with teachers who think I'm one of them. It really is some kind of sisterhood/brotherhood effect. There are many assumptions made that "we" all think alike on particular topics, and an entire vernacular of acronyms I have absolutely no clue about. This group could either be a sociology study--we're kind of a Gilligan's Island mesh of folks--or the start of a joke: There's a gay guy, an older lady, a housewife, a 200 pound woman who eats every 5 minutes... I'm always fascinated by the way people interact so as a side benefit to the economics education, I'm having fun with that as well :-) More to come later. I'm pooped!

Planes Trains and Automobiles

An opportunity came my way to attend an economic forum on the relationship between economics and environmentalism. It's sponsored by the Foundation for Teaching Economics (FTE) and the Hawaii Council on Economic Education (HCEE). I just so happened to get an email from a homeschooling group that clued me in to this incredible opportunity. It's free, and though I wish it was on my island, it is providing me a short respite form my usual work week. It is no small effort for mama to leave home: I put the kids on a quasi-fall break (something we normally do not do), and have actually hired someone to drive my children to and fro. (Between Tae Kwon Do, swimming, piano, drums, art class, Trig class, and PSAT prep class, there's a bit of chauffeuring in an average day.) So that brings us to my departure... DAT had kindly planned to drive home from the office to take me to the airport. However, he was awakened at 6AM by his assistant calling to tell him that in fact, the newly repaired (FedExed from Texas) computer was dead again. So, he had to book it in to assess the damage and begin a plan of recovery. Again. No worries, I can drive myself, and he'd just have to figure out how to get the vehicles back where they belong. No big deal. There was a little issue checking in, but it got resolved. As I approached my gate, I heard my name on the PA system. So I went to the desk at the gate. No one was there and it had a sign that it was closed. However, there was someone right at the jetway. I approached her and attempted three times to get her attention. I was less than five feet from her, and got progressively louder, yet she did not react in the slightest. She typed feverishly at her keyboard, then turned around, swiped her ID card and walked down the jetway. "Typical," was my thought. I walked to the next gate desk and tried to ask that person for help. Though he did acknowledge me, he seemed surprised that I expected him to assist me. He told me to go to my gate. When I told him that I had just been there and had been ignored, he said, "Well you should go back there. She'll eventually come back." So I did. And he was right. She did come back. But she did not make eye contact with me and again did not acknowledge me at all. So I figured "I've got my boarding pass, and they'll be boarding shortly. If they really need to talk to me, they'll know where to find me." Boarding began, and as I walked down the aisle of the plane, something very unusual happened. My seat was 5D on this smallish plane, but as I looked at the numbering above the seats, I saw row 1, 2, 3, 4, 6....Wait a minute. There is no row 5. So, I try to make my way back to the flight attendant who so pleasantly smiled an welcomed me aboard. By now, though, there is a steady stream of people boarding the plane. I finally get the flight attendant's attention, and explain to her my problem. Her first words to me were, "This plane doesn't have a row 5." "Yes," I said, "that's what I am asking you about." She is flustered and says, "When did you print this?" "About 15 minutes ago at a kiosk downstairs." I reply. She frowns and says, "Uh...just sit here." And motions for me to sit in the first row. So I do. (I've heard you'd better do as your told on planes these days, or you can land in the pokey.) I wait as everyone boards the plane--including the people whose seats I'm waiting in. They were very kind as I moved to another empty seat. Finally the original woman who ignored me at the gate is on the plane and is apparently here to save the day. At this point, I am not only seriously in doubt of her saving abilities, but I realize I'm probably screwed. Then the gate lady asks a man sitting in row two if the empty seat next to him has anyone in it. He says he doesn't think so (being just a passenger and all). So customer ignoring gate lady points to the seat and says to me, "Sit there." So I do. And that was that. I made it on time to check in and register for the seminar, and off I went!

My 9/11

I have spent spurts and moments recollecting that morning ten years ago, but never fully indulging my memory. This is my attempt to make the time to do that. I had gotten up at my usual 4:30 AM for a run (one of the many things that are different now). I put on my armband radio with headphones and started out into the dark. The weather had been warm and clear and gorgeous during the day, which meant that it was a little cooler in the dark--much like the weather is right now, in fact. My usual talk radio show wasn't on, and as I began my warm up trot, I tried to figure out just exactly what was being broadcast. Something had happened, and I didn't know if this was a live report or a recording. When I could surmise that it was not a local broadcast, I assumed it was a recording since the nation's news day was half over by the time most people started their day in Hawaii. So I continued to jog, expecting the chaotic noise I was hearing to eventually be explained by a calm reporter. Trying to make sense of what I was hearing became increasingly difficult. Everything about my morning was routine. And yet, somehow, as I ran along, it was simultaneously not routine at all. The craziness I was listening to was juxtaposed against my pitch black, very typical surroundings. I couldn't see clearly, and the neighborhood was its typically silent self. Most people were still snug in their beds, unaware of what was taking place at the other end of the country. Finally, I heard someone attempt a recap: Two planes had purposefully hit the World Trade Center towers one and two. One tower was down. That was all that I could understand, as even the reporter--remote from the actual situation--was speaking in a hysterical voice. Without realizing it, I had been running faster and faster as I listened to the events unfold. By the time I realized it, I had run nearly twice my usual distance. I came home into a dark house. I was breathing heavily, and as I entered the kitchen, my whole family was oddly awake and standing before me in a line. I still don't know why they were awake or how they all ended up there like that, but I was so glad to see each of them was just fine. I opened my mouth to try to tell my husband what had happened, and I began to sob uncontrollably. I had been running for nearly an hour in the dark, trying to absorb what I was hearing, and not responding at all. That opportunity to finally react opened the proverbial floodgates, and I now sounded like the reporter I could barely understand on my radio. Finally, I was able to say, "We're under attack, the World Trade Center Collapsed." My husband could not believe it. Surely I had gotten something wrong. "Those towers were built to take a hit by a plane..." he said. We turned on the television and both towers were standing there, smoke billowing out of them. "See," he said, "there's no way..." Just then, the video showed the south tower's collapse and we both realized it was not a live shot. Many things followed in that day, some I recall clearly, and others not at all. I remember calling the headmaster of the kids' school, and informing him of what had happened. I remember wanting my kids within my sight. And I remember, that very day, knowing that my country would not be the same country that my kids knew. It broke my heart, as it still does. Well, that's about all I can muster right now, as life's duties call...

Love You Like A Hurricane

All in all, it was a good weekend, as far as we're concerned. I'm told the events of our few days on the north shore of Oahu would have ruined the time for "most people." I doubt that's true, though I do know that the A-Thon house does seem to have a bit more...well, let's just say excitement than the average household. And that fact has made us a bit less dramatic in our reactions.

The drive out was utilitarian, so we took the freeways as much as we could. However, even avoiding the scenic route, there is a point where all you have is two lane roads. Right about that time the view gets ridiculously beautiful. There is a pineapple farm on the left and a coffee farm on the right. The vast expanse of the Pacific is down the hill before you.

It truly is paradise.

We got some dinner at Cholo's Mexican Restaurant, and then stopped at the grocery store on the way to the house. While waiting to turn left, and yielding to oncoming traffic, we were rear-ended. Gratefully we were all completely fine, as we drive a tank.

The other gal was fine, too, but her car was totaled. All we got was a slightly damaged bumper with a permanent imprint of the Volkswagen symbol. Yaye SUVs!

The next day was the last leg of the North Shore Swim Series: The North Shore Challenge. It is a 2.3 mile rough water swim from Ehukai beach to Waimea Bay. In the winter, the waves are very large and the current is swift. However, in the summer, there are usually small if any waves and the swim would be with the gentler current. Well, the ocean is a wild place, and on Saturday there was 5+ foot surf. Additionally, the current was moving in a winter direction, meaning the swim would be against the current and in surf.
Girl-A-Thon (GAT) wasn't intimidated one bit. I was at a category 1 on the worried mom scale. Dad-A-Thon (DAT) was his encouraging self, and Boy-A-Thon (BAT) was at the beach!

Back at the finish line, we heard the start of the race over the timer's radio. They started about 10 minutes late, so I adjusted my mental time of when I should see GAT and her bright pink goggles. (She had practiced this race on Monday, and had finished in an hour, with her group stopping once.)

After an hour and twenty minutes, I upgraded to a category 2. When I began to see people with whom she usually finishes, I was on the high end of, but still at a category 2. By an hour and half, I had upgraded to a category 3 worried mom.
DAT was at the water's edge for still photos and I was at the "chute" to get video of her running through to finish. I began texting DAT that something was wrong--she should be here by now. DAT reassured me that all was well.
I began to notice the finishers. They were not well. In the previous races, they were tired but smiling. No smiles in the chute today. In fact, there was vomiting, and varying stages of consciousness. As it all began to sink in--she's way overdue, others are ill--I blew past 4 and went straight to a category 5.
I had almost reached my limit of waiting, and began to text DAT again, when he hollered my name and pointed to the lifeguard on a waverunner. GAT had been pulled from the water and driven to the end of the race. I could see she was OK, and she swam about another 200 yards, so I knew she wasn't hurt. I took a deep breath and tried not to over react.
Praise the Lord she was completely fine, though extremely pale and had no energy. She wasn't feeling bad about being pulled out at all. She said, "Mom, I would have been in real trouble if I had stayed in." I told her I was proud that she did the safe thing. We got her a Jamba Juice and Tropilicious Sorbet(they were sponsors) to give her blood sugar a boost, and rested in the shade.
As I sat with my baby girl, she had her sugary treats, her color came back, and she began to breathe normally again. I said many prayers of thanks under my breath, and hugged her enough that she finally asked me to stop. It's a wild ride watching your beloved progeny come into their own...

It's a funny thing this life. I hope our family's excitement always ends so well.

Aloha

Trying to Be Better About Writing

So, that's my goal. Yes, I'm aware of its vagueness. Yes, it's intentional.

Honestly, I think Facebook has stolen some of my need to "reach out and touch someone" through a blog...

Today I am hopefully finishing up the lesson planning and scheduling for the first few weeks of the school year. I wish I could say that it took really long, but the truth is that I procrastinated like a champ. Part of it was my overwhelm mode, and not really knowing where to begin. Part of it was a slight bit of depression. And part was just plain laziness.

Procrastination is a vicious cycle and a trait that I share with my sister and mom. We are visiters, you see (no that's not spelled wrong). We like to hang. We could (and have) spent an entire day in our jammies drinking coffee and chatting a the kitchen table. We have an effect on each other that makes us even worse procrastinators when we are together, too!

I saw Femina had a post about laziness, and it just seems too simplistic to me. If only the solution were that simple: "Don't waste time--you could have a tragedy, and not be able to do what you are able to do now." That kind of "encouragement" has never rung true to me It's too surface-y. Personally, I need divine intervention to truly internalize the gravity of the sin of wasting time...

Wendy Whiner

I realize now that much of my hesitation to blog lately is because I'm in a funk. It's been very stressful for a couple of years, and I rarely suffer in silence. Believe it or not, my scarcity of blogposts has been to spare the world of my kvetching. But lately, I've realized how much I need to be writing my thoughts and feelings. So, I'm trying to begin to write more regularly. (Not sure if it's particularly wise to be writing them publicly, so we'll see what makes it here.)

A few weeks ago, our family ran into a couple that used to attend our church. (I don't know why they left, but have ceased to give a rip when a family does. One left over the "ugly tile" in the women's restroom. I'm not kidding.) The woman of this couple used to attend a bible study that I hosted on Wednesday mornings in my home. I had two grammar school kids then and was a homeschooling newbie. She never missed an opportunity to tell me her concerns about the long term effects of homeschooling my children. Which means that at least once a week, I got her $.02.

Anyway, She hadn't seen our family in about 4 years. The Kids-A-Thon are big teens now, so it was a surprise for her to see them "all grown up." The first words from her to me were, "I was hoping you had given that homeschooling UP." Girl-A-Thon then began to explain how she and her brother also attend a few classes at a Christian school and they enjoy being at home and having a chance to be in a classroom. At this the woman said to Girl-A-Thon, "Well, I am VERY glad to hear that! You know, you need to have friends, and not be stuck with mom all day!"

I did not say a word in reply.
This is proof that He who has begun a good work in me has not left me!

Now if I can just forgive and let go of the indignant frustration I have for this person, God can move on to another area of repairing my heart :-)

Bad Blogger!

Yes, I am terrible at keeping up with this. I need to follow my own advice about writing every day...

I am moved to write about the mob incident at the Wisconsin State Fair. Unfortunately, I think this is a sign of a building tension that is going to overflow during the 2012 election. (The last time I thought something seemed to be more of a harbinger of things to come than was being noticed, was the attack on the USS Cole. I didn't say anything about that thought then, but I'm going to say this one out loud.)

I don't know anything, and I am no military or political strategist. But I do understand when things give off a vibe. And this, just like the attack on the Cole, is tweaking my Spidey senses. Our country is stressed out. We are in wars all over the place, we are functioning in an utterly complete leadership vacuum on all fronts: national, local, and even personal. Every American, save POTUS, has been affected by the economic mess we are in, and 51% of the nation is being paid for by the other 49%. There is an entitlement mentality that has no basis in reality and is perpetuated by an impotent education system that prioritizes condoms on bananas over multiplication tables. We are in trouble.

We need to pray for our nation now more than we have ever prayed for it before. I truly believe we are at a crossroads that will determine just what the future is for our children and grandchildren. Sadly, I think our children and their children will know intimately the experiences of the people who fought to found this nation. I pray that I am wrong. I pray that this nation remembers its roots. I pray that real leaders would emerge and help guide the country. I pray that the violence in our communities will not grow.

Gotta go now--and pray.

Grateful

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting outside by the pool and I began to really notice my little corner of the world. You know, those times when you seem to remove yourself from the very place and time you are, and really observe?
I observed only a few things, but did so deeply. I saw a bountiful garden (my first really successful one in Hawaii), a green, well landscaped yard, two rascally playful dogs, two growing kids having contests in the pool, and a husband resting in the sunshine. I also observed that I was grateful.
Gratitude is something I've been short on for much of my life. (I could blame my childhood, but that's so been done. I'd need something new and improved to blame, if I don't want to just own up to my own self absorption.) And gratitude is something I'm determined to learn more about and to grow in for the rest of my life.

Wouldn't you know, today I got news that a childhood friend's cancer has spread in a ferocious way. For some reason, as I read her news, I pictured the the wildfires of Indian summer in the plains where I grew up. I could see the wind whipping those flames into a tornado. If you've ever seen one (a fire tornado), you know that it brings a deep soul based fear in tandem with its awful dry heat. That seems a lot like cancer getting bad cancer news, to me.

So, that's my goal. Be grateful. Or as my Wyoming family would say, "Quitcher bitchin an' smile."

Monthly Post?

Well, apparently so. Not that I don't dream of time to write to my heart's content about the things on my mind and heart. It's just that darn time/space continuum. It's never really been on my side. More of a nemesis, really.

So many things have been and are going on...

The world continues to be a mess in desperate need of a savior--nothing new, there. However, it is unusual that the French beat us to a fight, and the POTUS still hasn't quite figured out that this presidentin' is hard.
So, on a world and national events scale, it's pretty depressing.
Our personal business issues remain unresolved. So that's depressing, too.

But the truly absolutely worst of it all, is that a family in our church has been struck by a monumental tragedy. Their 4 year old son fell from a two story window and has died due to traumatic brain injury. This, is beyond depressing. It's brought me almost to despair.

An event such as this would be difficult no matter what, but this young family had only recently moved to Hawaii, and had barely gotten into the house where this tragedy occurred. For those of you unfamiliar with life in Hawaii, it's not quite the same to live here as it is to vacation here. EVERYTHING is different. And most things that are simple on the mainland are difficult here. It's just the way it goes. I suppose it's the cost of great weather. Or lush green to look at every day. Or whatever. Anyway, the point is, it's no vacation living here. And this young family is facing the most devastating experience any parent could have in what, I am quite certain, is no paradise for them.

So, that's adding to the funk over here...

On the plus side, we are all healthy and together. And per my request, in lieu of date night, we are going to do a build your own pizza /rent a movie night. I'll be right in the middle of my peeps, hugging them too tight and kissing them too much. Because I can.

Fiddling While Rome Burns

Or, more accurately, giggling while Hawaii heads down the road to perdition.

This afternoon while driving, I listened to the governor of Hawaii quote Dietrich Bonhoeffer while signing a "civil union" bill into law. It was quite a joyous occasion apparently, and humorous, too with lots of jolly laughter and joking.
This was really a bizarre experience for me, as I realized--yet again--that the values I hold are increasingly in the minority.
The governor went to great lengths to describe that "aloha" and "e komo mai" mean all are welcome, and that "our diversity is what defines us, not what divides us." I really wish I could believe that. Really I do. But it was an extremely bad choice in quoting Bonhoeffer--a Christian theologian and martyr--during the signing of a bill that legalizes something specifically named as sinful in the bible. I can't decide if it was a purposeful slap to the face of the many Christians who testified against this bill, or if it was a gaffe of ignorance. (I'm inclined toward the ignorance explanation, primarily, I confess, because of Abercrombie's reputation for a fondness of a particular herb.)

I don't have a gut reaction to the idea of civil unions. Just because the world calls something OK, doesn't make it so. However, I am not naive enough to think that civil unions will be the end of this issue. This, as do all monumental shifts in morality, will have a rather significant ripple effect. I'm not sure specifically how that will play out, but I do know that as we slide down that slippery slope, our leaders will be jolly and laughing all the way.

Cuckoo Magnet

Apparently I have a tendency to attract really crazy people. I knew this was the case in my dating years (I once was asked out by a guy whose car I "borrowed without permission," and don't even get me started on the visiting Iraqi professor during the first Gulf War.) When I told my mother of my revelation she casually said, "Yes, dear, our whole family attracts crazies," as if I'd told her I finally realized we were all blue eyed, or something.

This self-awareness, like most, has pluses and minuses.
First the pluses:
1. I now know I must be more tentative with budding friendships where the other party is just a tad too zealous.
2. It is clear to me that my family is not nearly as crazy as I had generally believed.
3. Hmm...that's all I've got so far.

Now, the minuses:
1. My general easy going acceptance of people right when I meet them is akin to a target on my forehead to loonies.
2. I have ignored my Spidey senses at my own peril.
3. Being a grown up means I can't tell people the whole truth about situations where the crazies have been dishonest. (I really hate this one.)

This realization is forcing me to bring my cares and concerns before my Lord instead of anyone else, and I grow in my dependence on Him. Hey! I think I just found #3 for the pluses!

Hello Again, Part II

And another thing...

I've realized another not-so-good net result of the past coupla years: my behavior as a consumer have changed dramatically, as have DAT's plans as a business owner.

Now, even if I could find my fabled "house on the beach for a dollar," I wouldn't buy it. The tax burdens are ridiculous. Do you think DAT is gonna buy that warehouse? I think not. Or add more trucks to the fleet? Uh...notsomuch. And we're not the sharpest tools in the shed, so imagine how much more reserved/conservative/prudent others will be with their resources...

So...Like...Um...Yeah

So the whole seventh grade experience never really leaves girls....Ouch.

I have (sadly, mind you) come to the realization that those women folk with a flair for the dramatic never really outgrow it. As a "guy's girl" I spent much of my adolescence, teen, and young adult years anxious for full blown adulthood. I thought that when all the girls grew up, the drama-rama would end. Alas, I am a bona fide (read 40+) adult, and this is not the case.

(In full disclosure, I must confess the dramatic use of hands while talking, and prolific use of the following: parentheses, em-dashes, and far too many ellipses.)

Back in the Saddle

So, we were off like a relatively well oiled machine this morning. I am grateful to be back at something consistent, but hate having deadlines and living by clocks again. I am by nature a slow mover and procrastinator.
One perk, however, is getting to hear snippets of Dennis Miller as I drive the kids to school. The downside is that I then want to spend the rest of the morning listening to his show and sitting in a cozy chair with lotsa coffee handy.
This morning, I'm online (trying to have an iChat date with Europeanne, but we are experiencing technical difficulties) so I will squeeze in some blogging. What a good job I'm doing, not wasting a moment!
Dennis had S E Cupp on this morning, and I only got to hear a few minutes of her, so I'll be following up with the podcast. She is the author of Losing Our Religion, a book about the American cultural bias against Christians--written by an atheist. Dennis had her on because of this article in the New York Daily News. Her main point is that the atheists are not curious people. To them, all is decided, and only an idiot would continue to seek information on the matter. It's an easy short read and well worth a few minutes of your time.

What I think attracts me to Dennis' show is that he is funny. Quick, sharp and laugh out loud funny. And you know, that's not all that easy to do when talking politics and the state of the union.

A Day Late (or 3 or 4)

So, my friend in Rome discovered this cool thing. I don't really even know what it means or is, but it sounds like a good idea. It seems nicely organized, too. Only problem for me, is it's 10:45PM on January 3, and I should have been ready to roll with it on January 1. Provided I can find whatever in the world a Molskine is and prepare one before the week is over, I just may try to do this Partnering to Remember (P2R) thing. Or I may try to find materials for the guy's Ephesians memory thingy, since we'll be diving into that for Sunday school...

Either way, like my friend, my faith is also sagging and needs some steel reinforcements a la this quote from Donald Whitney:

Memorizing Scripture is like reinforcing steel to a sagging faith, for it strengthens your faith by repeatedly reinforcing the truth, often just when you need to hear it again.

Thanks Anne, for the good info on a great idea.

Post Christmas Post

It was a good couple a weeks around here, and for that we are eternally grateful. DAT had Christmas and New Year's days off and even had an extra day off since Christmas fell on a weekend. (Finally a federal labor law that is useful.)

My mom, "Nanny", came to visit, and that always makes for a happy time. She is an optimist and then some, and it was good to see her smiling face each morning. I noticed when I picked her up from the airport that her amazing blue eyes fade in my memory; so they were stunning all over again. Each day we got up early and shared a pot of coffee, trying to solve the problems of the world. I tried my darnedest not to talk politics or bad mouth Dear Leader, but I just couldn't help myself. I don't think she was too offended. We didn't go anywhere, really, or do much at all, but it was good to have an old fashioned visit. Remember those?

Unintended Bummer

When I re-read that post from yesterday, it seems like such a downer. That wasn't my mood when writing it, but I guess it is what it is. I was actually really happy to be blogging again. And I still am today. Hopefully I will discipline myself to use my time wisely enough to do more of this. It's the cheapest therapy I've ever had. ;-)

Hello Again, Part I

There have been so many times when I have wanted to blog like mad lately. The time has escaped me, or it's been beyond PG-13, or some form of maturity got the better of me. What a couple of years it has been. Oh sure, the first year wasn't too bad, and frankly we planned for it to be rough. But this past one...uh, no, we did not see it coming.

The net result is such a change in both my husband and I that we are really not the same people we once were at all. This is both a good and a bad thing, as is often the case with dramatic learning curves. Between the professional assaults made personal, and the ever expanding government regulation of small business, it's a brave new world nowadays. And one we just don't care to gamble in any more, thankyouverymuch.

Both Dad-A-Thon (DAT) and I come from entrepreneurial families. It's a breed of human being, really. Perpetual optimists, with occasional brushes with skepticism. Entrepreneurs are what makes capitalism work: some crazy dude with authority issues decides he must do things his way, and voila! He's starting XYZ Window Washer Company. It's a gamble, but one that he hopes will pay off, if not in his lifetime, in the lifetime of his children. This spirit is what has changed the trajectory of many an immigrant's life in what was once called The Melting Pot.
Now, however, the gamble simply isn't worth it. And I am sad to say, that though I despise it, I see a future where the only responsible way to take care of yourself and provide for your family is to beat down that independent spirit and get a secure job. I hate that italicized phrase with every ounce of my being. But it is no longer a gamble to risk time and resources in the hopes that you can compete and win in a free market. It's downright stupid. The bet is rigged for all players to lose and the house to win.

About two years ago, a friend asked me if I hoped that one or both of the Kids-A-Thon would run the family biz one day. My answer--a knee jerk reaction--was, "I hope not! I hope they won't have to work that hard." If she were to ask me that question now, I'd still say "No," but I'd follow it with, "The risk simply isn't worth the cost to one's self and family." (Okay, I wouldn't actually say, "one's self," but you get the idea.)

What I've learned from the past couple of years has been hard, but mostly it's been sad. I'm sad that I've moved from letting the kids consider the idea of carrying on their ancestors' legacies, to actively counseling them against the idea. And I'm sad that this nation once fought so desperately for freedom, and is now handing it over utterly unaware.