Sustained Adolescence

A comment my son made yesterday got me thinking. While shopping for a gift for my husband's birthday, I said to the kids, "It's so hard for me to find a gift for Daddy because if he wants something, he usually just gets it for himself."

"Really?" my son asked, "Dad can just go get anything he wants for himself?"

Nervously wondering where this was heading --the mind of a 12 year old boy can be a scary thing--I said, "Well, yes."

"I want to be a man just like that when I grow up."

Aha! The perfect moment to discuss the values of God-glorfying hard work, perseverance, tithing, etc. So of course, I did talk about all those things, and the resultant dimming of my son's excitement--though entirely age-appropriate--reminded me how much work there is in rearing a boy. Now, there is nothing wrong with a 12 year old wanting the world on a silver platter. However, he is to become a man; not a 30 year old who thinks and behaves like a 12 year old. Apparently that notion is counter-cultural.

The glorfication of irresponsible behavior in our culture is shockingly popular. Look at the lifestyles section of any paper or magazine. It is filled with gossip about the latest train wreck of a young adult, awash in cash and devoid of any correction (=love) or discipline (from the Latin discipulus: student)from their family; the very people whose job it is to do so!
This is so very sad. Without the presence of loving correction and discipline while a child is in the parents' home, that child is greatly challenged to develop any self-dsicipline. I once explained this to my kids by using the example of relay runners and a baton. Parents have the responsibility of discipline for a time in the child's life. During this time, the child sees, experiences, and learns how to discipline himself. Then the parent hands the baton to the child, and he heads off to run his own leg in the race of life. Fumble and drop the baton, and running will have no purpose or direction; the finish line just an interesting banner hanging there for no apparent reason.