Cure Alls

Put your echinacea away, and forget the vitamin C. Veganism and sex are the cures of what ails our society. I am so glad to be set straight on that, because, quite frankly, I never would have guessed those.
According to an op-ed piece in the Star-Bulletin , you need to

"Educate yourself about the issues. And realize that the single most important thing you as an individual can do to address the huge problems facing our world is to become a vegan."

That's right folks; a vegan. In the article, the author, Honolulu resident Pamela Davis states that

"There also is a direct relationship between what we eat -- a pig, for example -- and such things as war, disease, world hunger, environmental destruction (think global warming) and other societal problems. It is a complex web that too few people have bothered to explore and try to understand. Essentially, the killing of animals is an accepted aspect of our society, reinforcing our belief that we are superior to all other creatures. This misguided attitude can result in violence perpetrated on animals and humans alike."

I confess that I am one of those lazy fools who hasn't bothered to untangle the web of eating pigs, war, and global warming. Sorry about that. I've been busy grilling porkchops that I brought home in my SUV. On the plus side, though, this article gives me a nifty little paragraph to use for correcting work today in two subjects in school : Grammar and Logic. Thank you Ms. Davis, I really needed a two-for-one today!
If veganism doesn't fix the world, surely a Global Orgasm for Peace will do the trick (hat tip:PalmPilot).

The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.

But wait! Aside from the monumental challenge to coordinate the timing of a global orgasm, could this not contribute to global warming?